I will attempt a new 21 day challenge. my room mate is trying to quit smoking and I'm going to try and quit lazy (being, that is). So much like a working out, I will try to sit down and do some things that I generally do not care for (cooking, cleaning, etc) first thing when I wake (okay, after my morning coffee which is usually a book and/or something yummy to eat, b/c getting up in the morning is hard as it is)
After reading a self growth book called the Flip Side by a guy named Flip Flippen (I unsure if that's his birth name) it speaks about 8 things that hold people back, all of those I have and one that sticks out like a sore thumb: lack of drive. On top of that, Flip says that by the time a person turns thirty, it's downhill from there, that our patterns become ingrained, unlikely to change. That gives me approximately half a year. I better get going.
when I was 14 my dad made me shovel dirt for our family garden. Now, when you're 14, you don't like being told what to do, especially if it does not promise fun. It would be a week before I could dig all that needed to be dug. I was discouraged. Digging up dirt was not my idea of a good time. Interestingly, on the second day, I began to like it and even take pride in the work. I began to focus less on how hot and dirty the job was, and focus on the thought that my dad had asked me of all my siblings. I felt strong and proud. The next day, I could care less about pride and being strong. This sucks, I thought. Somehow I was able to complete the project and I sometimes look back on that experience fondly; a reference in what can be when we control what we focus on.
When I was itty bitty in Vietnam I would skip school and go to the pond by my house to catch frogs. One day I found my dad skipping work and going fishing himself, both not ready, i guess, to face up to the "real world". I prefer to see it as father and son both enjoying the jubilation of not doing what is expected of us. I don't remember if I was reprimanded nor do I remember if I understood the concept of blackmail or hypocrisy.
A barefoot man ran down a busy intersection of Lamar screaming "Holly! Holly!" My first guestimation of the situation was that his disgruntled lover had ran off from an argument. He had such a look of absolute devotion and desperation at the same time. It turns out Holly is his dog who took off after a bird or who knows what.
My life today is far from what I imagined it to be as a senior in high school; far from ideal but the process of living, learning, and growing (despite it's moments of discomfort and despair) is something that I am, if not happy with, at least open to.
Quotes I've enjoyed this week:
love, joy, happiness are often not found but created.
When I see an adult on a bicycle I do not despair for the the future of the human race - H.G. Wells
Random thoughts I've had:
* Caucasians have bread. Latinos, tortillas. Asians have rice paper. All edible. all delicious.
* When you come from poverty it is more of a challenge to learn to give.
* Here in Austin, the school for the deaf is a lot better kept than the school for the blind. I wonder if that is because of politics/funding or the fact that the blind students could care less what the grounds look like.
*There's a roll of scotch tape that i've been using sparingly for the last 2 years. It's almost out and I feel a pang of heartache. I'm gonna miss you, scotch tape. You've been good to me.