| Place |
| What we want: * a beautiful living environment with nice and positive roommates that share our values decorated very nice and looking thrift store stylish * want to be mentally strong and skilled and always and constantly improving * to be confident in our ability to get things done. To have created a valid, consistently approach. What we Have: * We have a lot more repeat activities for our Google calendar and tons of invites on Facebook for activities > didn't know what to do on any given night * We have a very cute, centrally located apartment with electricity, water, wifi, and two roommates fronting the bill, it's decorated pretty cute and always improving and we're looking to move into an even nicer living situation! >living in a cold cold van |
| *We have a nice working steady approach with film and books and our wko program, slow but steady. Yes, we are making progress even on days when our feet is dragging. |
| *Our body feels moderately strong; playing ball like mad and running quite often. * We have yet to go into a deep deep depression recovery period is not that bad! > would get into funks for weeks at a time, we are slow as a motherfucker now but at least we are steadier. *We have gotten skilled at minigoaling and option/qualities * Learning better to not exert too much physically. Pace. * Have rap beats and U2 to help us push through the pain * We have nice stylish clothes that make us feel attractive, a cool hat, a nice jacket, and some cute shorts |
| Passion |
| What we want: * To spend as 3/4 of our time doing things that move us into an emotional state while staying productive toward the things that are important to us. What we Have: * I have that list of songs I can sing and play |
| I can make a list of film projects I'd like to do |
| I've watched and read and seen lots and lots of art |
| We are able to put music to video We are able to connect with others through writing * Continuing to create more and more video work * An abundant collection of books, audio, and film that will help us get through action. |
| People |
| Who we Want: Inner (6) Luong, Harold, Thay Pham, Anise Middle (18) Mother, Harold, Phillip, Tuan, Thuan, Cameron, Johanna, Ahmed, Anna Duyen, Bee, Shin, Katie J, Tommy, Anise, , Hailey, Kennedy, Wayne Wylie, Krzystof Outer (54) An Thu, Aubrey, Babe, Britney Who We Have: Inner (6) Shin, Scottie Middle (18) Chris, Harold, Scottie, Anise, Thay Pham, Hailey, Kennedy, Wayne Wylie, Krzystof Outer (54) An Thu, Aubrey, Babe, Britney we have many experiences with loving women we have our friendship with Scott We have beautiful memories made with so many people * Did good to make ammends with tommy and salvaged a friendship > would just avoid and let it drift away Father understands we do not trust him * We have more experiences of what we do not want in our relationships * We have the experience of taking time to talk to tommy dang * We have our sachse saigons facebook |
| Money |
| What we want: * What we Have: * We've cut our expenses down to 500/mnth * used to be $800/mnth * Got our massage responses back up again with daily advertisements I don't worry so much about spending money I can watch action films and listen to grooves music and dance, sway and work 2 days a week We have the potential to earn income with one of our many talents We have a natural ability to run our own business, comes naturally and we are very blessed |
| Progress Log |
December 08, 2009
Progress Log
December 06, 2009
Adventures in Public Transportation
When I'm longing for personal proximity, one thing I do is hop on the city bus around rush hour and it's nice just to have a bunch of warm bodies near. Here are some of my observations from the past week:
11/10 12:54 PM
A sweet immigrant family from Burma or perhaps Nepal with an adorable bay girl sits next to me in the back of the bus, the best set in the house, in my opinion, with ample leg room and easy to enter/exit seats. The parents were both wearing super stylish Ghetto Nike Air shoes, the kind you might find the hip hop high school crowd sporting. The baby girl and her father are making faces at each other and enjoying themselves. The men from this area of the world age particularly well and, although he is most probably in his thirties, he looks not even nineteen. Both the baby girl and her father smile at me.
I love the innocence of it. They are fashion oblivious. I find that charming and can relate. It's nice they don't know yet that public transportation is a mecca for misfits and madmen and continue to smile and communicate non-verbally to me
6:49 PM
A possibly homeless older gentleman gets on and sits next to me. He has a case of Red Bull energy drinks for sale. 2 for $1. Any normal person would hesitate to ask where he got this case from. After saying "no thank you" I change my mind and purchase two; one for me and one for a random guy who I've seen on the bus earlier in the week who happened to be traveling and, for some reason, came upon $100 worth of international notes that he needed to trade in.
There are some very interesting characters on this bus. Everyone has a back story. Everyone is trying to go somewhere. This bus is packed full like a can of sardines. Please, by the grace of God, no one cut a fart. Still, today, I prefer this and find it more enjoyable than riding alone.
6:53 PM
When you're wealthy and act abnormal, people compliment, "Ah, he's so eccentric." When you ride the city bus and talk to yourself, you're just plain crazy. The homeless have homeless lingo. No where else would you overhear a conversation along the lines of, "Where are you staying tonight?" "What did you score for dinner?" I find it endearing that the homeless form instant bonds through their common everyday struggles.
11/11 6:24 PM At McDonald's
So cute. A whole family of 6 immigrant girls with their aunt or possibly their mother. They range in age from 3 all the way to 10. The youngest braves a game of peek-a-boo with me. Cute little hands and adoring spanish eyes that remind me of the U2 song, "In a little while". My guess is that they're not used to seeing Asian people.They remind me of fond snowy days in Dallas when my parents would save up all month and take the whole family out to Mickey D's. My mother (bless her heart) made all of our meals at home, so it was a huge ordeal to go out for a Big Mac. We would get dressed in our Sunday best and were the image of success. Back in Viet Nam, a meal at McDonald's is indication that you have "made it" in America.
11/10 12:54 PM
A sweet immigrant family from Burma or perhaps Nepal with an adorable bay girl sits next to me in the back of the bus, the best set in the house, in my opinion, with ample leg room and easy to enter/exit seats. The parents were both wearing super stylish Ghetto Nike Air shoes, the kind you might find the hip hop high school crowd sporting. The baby girl and her father are making faces at each other and enjoying themselves. The men from this area of the world age particularly well and, although he is most probably in his thirties, he looks not even nineteen. Both the baby girl and her father smile at me.
I love the innocence of it. They are fashion oblivious. I find that charming and can relate. It's nice they don't know yet that public transportation is a mecca for misfits and madmen and continue to smile and communicate non-verbally to me
6:49 PM
A possibly homeless older gentleman gets on and sits next to me. He has a case of Red Bull energy drinks for sale. 2 for $1. Any normal person would hesitate to ask where he got this case from. After saying "no thank you" I change my mind and purchase two; one for me and one for a random guy who I've seen on the bus earlier in the week who happened to be traveling and, for some reason, came upon $100 worth of international notes that he needed to trade in.
There are some very interesting characters on this bus. Everyone has a back story. Everyone is trying to go somewhere. This bus is packed full like a can of sardines. Please, by the grace of God, no one cut a fart. Still, today, I prefer this and find it more enjoyable than riding alone.
6:53 PMWhen you're wealthy and act abnormal, people compliment, "Ah, he's so eccentric." When you ride the city bus and talk to yourself, you're just plain crazy. The homeless have homeless lingo. No where else would you overhear a conversation along the lines of, "Where are you staying tonight?" "What did you score for dinner?" I find it endearing that the homeless form instant bonds through their common everyday struggles.
11/11 6:24 PM At McDonald's
So cute. A whole family of 6 immigrant girls with their aunt or possibly their mother. They range in age from 3 all the way to 10. The youngest braves a game of peek-a-boo with me. Cute little hands and adoring spanish eyes that remind me of the U2 song, "In a little while". My guess is that they're not used to seeing Asian people.They remind me of fond snowy days in Dallas when my parents would save up all month and take the whole family out to Mickey D's. My mother (bless her heart) made all of our meals at home, so it was a huge ordeal to go out for a Big Mac. We would get dressed in our Sunday best and were the image of success. Back in Viet Nam, a meal at McDonald's is indication that you have "made it" in America.
November 03, 2009
weekly highlights
B. Highlights from My Week
* I sped through a red light even though I saw a patrol car perched on the other side of the road. I don't know what it is about skirting my life and the law that attracts me. Could I be a criminal in the making?
* I'm by myself and the band is playing and I really want to dance. "C'mon, Dao, just go. You can do it." "I don't know, it's kind of weird, a guy dancing by himself". "And I suppose it would be easier if you were a girl?" "okay, now." "okay, now." Go!
* I detest grocery shopping. Really, it's not one of my favorite activities. Shopping in general, I would say. That's why when I go to the store it's dim sum shopping for me. Like how at dim sum restaurants they cart out all these great looking goodies, I go around and peak at what other people are buying and go "hmm...na...hmm...that's looks interesting...oh! I've got to have that box of cheez-its"
* I was just thinking how much I love leftovers. You go through your fridge thinking, man, what is there to eat? Oh yea! that pizza from last week!
A. People I've met
* there's a tattooed hard-looking dude who organizes the basketball games where I play pick-up. His name is Julian and he looks like he's not unfamiliar with the texas penal system. I can't quite figure him out. He has a perpetual scowl like a lot of the guys that play pick up ball but he also always says hello when I come by. I think inside everyone is a softie.
* I've been hanging out with a friend named shin. He's a miniature japanese guy with a bruce lee cut who smokes cigars. I don't know what it is but I've always enjoyed spending time with people from different countries. It's kind of like traveling or hanging out at a youth hostel. There's a feeling of adventure about it all.
C. Lessons I've learned
* life is like bicycling a series of hills and valleys. You make the most of the momentum when it's easy riding/coasting and use that time to prepare for the inevitable climbs/hills. So, for example, if you're motivated to go on a diet, don't go gung-ho and run a marathon, use that motivation to set up an environment that is conducive to success. Go enlist in a gym membership, stack your fridge with healthy foods, call up a buddy and enlist him/her to go on the diet with you. You will find that time setting up the environment when you're motivated (coasting downhill) will create less work or reluctance when you're not (climbing uphill).
* patience cannot be an excuse for complacency
* it's not winning that matters but the motivation to continue improving
D. Random Thoughts
* I think half of the excitement in life is the build up, we should build up everything we do. Like how they hype boxing matches or football games. We can do that everynight before we go to bed, looking forward to our day tomorrow, really make a big deal of it and sure enough I think we wake up feeling more energized.
* I sped through a red light even though I saw a patrol car perched on the other side of the road. I don't know what it is about skirting my life and the law that attracts me. Could I be a criminal in the making?
* I'm by myself and the band is playing and I really want to dance. "C'mon, Dao, just go. You can do it." "I don't know, it's kind of weird, a guy dancing by himself". "And I suppose it would be easier if you were a girl?" "okay, now." "okay, now." Go!
* I detest grocery shopping. Really, it's not one of my favorite activities. Shopping in general, I would say. That's why when I go to the store it's dim sum shopping for me. Like how at dim sum restaurants they cart out all these great looking goodies, I go around and peak at what other people are buying and go "hmm...na...hmm...that's looks interesting...oh! I've got to have that box of cheez-its"
* I was just thinking how much I love leftovers. You go through your fridge thinking, man, what is there to eat? Oh yea! that pizza from last week!
A. People I've met
* there's a tattooed hard-looking dude who organizes the basketball games where I play pick-up. His name is Julian and he looks like he's not unfamiliar with the texas penal system. I can't quite figure him out. He has a perpetual scowl like a lot of the guys that play pick up ball but he also always says hello when I come by. I think inside everyone is a softie.
* I've been hanging out with a friend named shin. He's a miniature japanese guy with a bruce lee cut who smokes cigars. I don't know what it is but I've always enjoyed spending time with people from different countries. It's kind of like traveling or hanging out at a youth hostel. There's a feeling of adventure about it all.
C. Lessons I've learned
* life is like bicycling a series of hills and valleys. You make the most of the momentum when it's easy riding/coasting and use that time to prepare for the inevitable climbs/hills. So, for example, if you're motivated to go on a diet, don't go gung-ho and run a marathon, use that motivation to set up an environment that is conducive to success. Go enlist in a gym membership, stack your fridge with healthy foods, call up a buddy and enlist him/her to go on the diet with you. You will find that time setting up the environment when you're motivated (coasting downhill) will create less work or reluctance when you're not (climbing uphill).
* patience cannot be an excuse for complacency
* it's not winning that matters but the motivation to continue improving
D. Random Thoughts
* I think half of the excitement in life is the build up, we should build up everything we do. Like how they hype boxing matches or football games. We can do that everynight before we go to bed, looking forward to our day tomorrow, really make a big deal of it and sure enough I think we wake up feeling more energized.
October 01, 2009
Keep the Window Cracked
1. People I've met:
* a woman plops on the seat in front of me and the first thing she does is complains why the bus is 10 minutes late. I don't care for complainers so I put on my headphones, avoid eye contact, and focus my eyes on a book. A few minutes pass and she asks me if she can use my cell phone. I pretend that I don't hear her and continue reading my book. She tenacious however and pokes her hand in my face to get my attention. I look up reluctantly.
" Do you have a phone?"
Me: "Yea."
" May I use it to make a phone call?"
Despite not having a good impression of her I figure it wouldn't hurt. She then proceeds to jabber for a good fifteen minutes and I give up reading my book. I can't wait to get off this bus. Then magic happens. She strikes up a conversation with a blind girl next to her, complimenting her on her pretty hair. At the next stop she helps a handicapped guy get off the buss and I think to myself, that's nice of her, she's probably a friendly person after all. I am reminded of the truism: there's always good in everyone, you just have to keep your eyes open.
* one of my favorite things to do in public is eavesdrop on people's conversations. I'm nosy.
* I ask my friend Scotty a hypothetical question: could he love someone who cheats on him and he replies, "if you really really love them, then you have no choice. it's unconditional." I guess he has a point.
2. Highlights from past week:
* I had a dream a little boy was so proud that he had such a great big brother and I wanted to be that big brother.
* a sign at an elementary school has a big red apple and a smiling green worm and says "bite into life"
* I received a call from a number I didn't recognize. I answered and a lady on the line said " Jonathan is in the nurse's office not feeling good."
I replied, "I'm sorry to hear that Jonathan is not feeling well but you have the wrong number." It reminded me of the time I got a busted lip on my first day of middle school courtesy of an accidental headbutt.
* I took a bike ride all the way to south austin past ben white and it felt like I was in a completely different city. There's always something magical about the air around you when you find yourself in a new environment. Even the trees looked different to me.
* I treated myself to a massage. Hadn't had one in over two years. It's just what I needed and I highly recommend it.
* Spent Wednesday at the Farmer's Market. I'm suppose to feel like an outsider since I'm the only guy without a family or even a girlfriend but that doesn't stop me. To see happy families and chubby little kids makes me pretty happy. A baby boy even crawled up close to take a look at my notebook. I'd like to have a family of my own someday but for now it will have to be a vicarious affair.
* I've been watching romance movies lately. It's funny because even as a teenager I would have a stack of romance novels in my drawer. My dad even found one once and I was not embarrassed. So what? Why can't a boy be into raunchy literature? My favorite romance movies are made by Cameron Crowe: Jerry Maguire and Vanilla Sky.
3. Antihighlights
* For some reason a guy cleaning his car caught my attention as I was riding my bike. It turned out to be a mistake as he was bending over to vacuum and I caught an eyefull of buttcrack. Please, kind sir, pull up your pants. Then I thought to myself, no one asked me to look. The bright side was that I didn't run into a curb or the stop sign.
4. Random thoughts
* what in the world is antipasta? is it a) a dish that does not have pasta b) an adjective describing one who is against holding on to the past. If it's a) then I think that's pretty stupid. How about some antifriedchicken.
* is it an oxymoron when the first thing that fighters do after they win a fight is to thank jesus?
Quotes I've enjoyed:
* you can be poor by yourself you don't need any help
* tough times don't last, tough people do
* a woman plops on the seat in front of me and the first thing she does is complains why the bus is 10 minutes late. I don't care for complainers so I put on my headphones, avoid eye contact, and focus my eyes on a book. A few minutes pass and she asks me if she can use my cell phone. I pretend that I don't hear her and continue reading my book. She tenacious however and pokes her hand in my face to get my attention. I look up reluctantly.
" Do you have a phone?"
Me: "Yea."
" May I use it to make a phone call?"
Despite not having a good impression of her I figure it wouldn't hurt. She then proceeds to jabber for a good fifteen minutes and I give up reading my book. I can't wait to get off this bus. Then magic happens. She strikes up a conversation with a blind girl next to her, complimenting her on her pretty hair. At the next stop she helps a handicapped guy get off the buss and I think to myself, that's nice of her, she's probably a friendly person after all. I am reminded of the truism: there's always good in everyone, you just have to keep your eyes open.
* one of my favorite things to do in public is eavesdrop on people's conversations. I'm nosy.
* I ask my friend Scotty a hypothetical question: could he love someone who cheats on him and he replies, "if you really really love them, then you have no choice. it's unconditional." I guess he has a point.
2. Highlights from past week:
* I had a dream a little boy was so proud that he had such a great big brother and I wanted to be that big brother.
* a sign at an elementary school has a big red apple and a smiling green worm and says "bite into life"
* I received a call from a number I didn't recognize. I answered and a lady on the line said " Jonathan is in the nurse's office not feeling good."
I replied, "I'm sorry to hear that Jonathan is not feeling well but you have the wrong number." It reminded me of the time I got a busted lip on my first day of middle school courtesy of an accidental headbutt.
* I took a bike ride all the way to south austin past ben white and it felt like I was in a completely different city. There's always something magical about the air around you when you find yourself in a new environment. Even the trees looked different to me.
* I treated myself to a massage. Hadn't had one in over two years. It's just what I needed and I highly recommend it.
* Spent Wednesday at the Farmer's Market. I'm suppose to feel like an outsider since I'm the only guy without a family or even a girlfriend but that doesn't stop me. To see happy families and chubby little kids makes me pretty happy. A baby boy even crawled up close to take a look at my notebook. I'd like to have a family of my own someday but for now it will have to be a vicarious affair.
* I've been watching romance movies lately. It's funny because even as a teenager I would have a stack of romance novels in my drawer. My dad even found one once and I was not embarrassed. So what? Why can't a boy be into raunchy literature? My favorite romance movies are made by Cameron Crowe: Jerry Maguire and Vanilla Sky.
3. Antihighlights
* For some reason a guy cleaning his car caught my attention as I was riding my bike. It turned out to be a mistake as he was bending over to vacuum and I caught an eyefull of buttcrack. Please, kind sir, pull up your pants. Then I thought to myself, no one asked me to look. The bright side was that I didn't run into a curb or the stop sign.
4. Random thoughts
* what in the world is antipasta? is it a) a dish that does not have pasta b) an adjective describing one who is against holding on to the past. If it's a) then I think that's pretty stupid. How about some antifriedchicken.
* is it an oxymoron when the first thing that fighters do after they win a fight is to thank jesus?
Quotes I've enjoyed:
* you can be poor by yourself you don't need any help
* tough times don't last, tough people do
September 03, 2009
What We Have in Common
I will attempt a new 21 day challenge. my room mate is trying to quit smoking and I'm going to try and quit lazy (being, that is). So much like a working out, I will try to sit down and do some things that I generally do not care for (cooking, cleaning, etc) first thing when I wake (okay, after my morning coffee which is usually a book and/or something yummy to eat, b/c getting up in the morning is hard as it is)
After reading a self growth book called the Flip Side by a guy named Flip Flippen (I unsure if that's his birth name) it speaks about 8 things that hold people back, all of those I have and one that sticks out like a sore thumb: lack of drive. On top of that, Flip says that by the time a person turns thirty, it's downhill from there, that our patterns become ingrained, unlikely to change. That gives me approximately half a year. I better get going.
when I was 14 my dad made me shovel dirt for our family garden. Now, when you're 14, you don't like being told what to do, especially if it does not promise fun. It would be a week before I could dig all that needed to be dug. I was discouraged. Digging up dirt was not my idea of a good time. Interestingly, on the second day, I began to like it and even take pride in the work. I began to focus less on how hot and dirty the job was, and focus on the thought that my dad had asked me of all my siblings. I felt strong and proud. The next day, I could care less about pride and being strong. This sucks, I thought. Somehow I was able to complete the project and I sometimes look back on that experience fondly; a reference in what can be when we control what we focus on.
When I was itty bitty in Vietnam I would skip school and go to the pond by my house to catch frogs. One day I found my dad skipping work and going fishing himself, both not ready, i guess, to face up to the "real world". I prefer to see it as father and son both enjoying the jubilation of not doing what is expected of us. I don't remember if I was reprimanded nor do I remember if I understood the concept of blackmail or hypocrisy.
A barefoot man ran down a busy intersection of Lamar screaming "Holly! Holly!" My first guestimation of the situation was that his disgruntled lover had ran off from an argument. He had such a look of absolute devotion and desperation at the same time. It turns out Holly is his dog who took off after a bird or who knows what.
My life today is far from what I imagined it to be as a senior in high school; far from ideal but the process of living, learning, and growing (despite it's moments of discomfort and despair) is something that I am, if not happy with, at least open to.
Quotes I've enjoyed this week:
love, joy, happiness are often not found but created.
When I see an adult on a bicycle I do not despair for the the future of the human race - H.G. Wells
Random thoughts I've had:
* Caucasians have bread. Latinos, tortillas. Asians have rice paper. All edible. all delicious.
* When you come from poverty it is more of a challenge to learn to give.
* Here in Austin, the school for the deaf is a lot better kept than the school for the blind. I wonder if that is because of politics/funding or the fact that the blind students could care less what the grounds look like.
*There's a roll of scotch tape that i've been using sparingly for the last 2 years. It's almost out and I feel a pang of heartache. I'm gonna miss you, scotch tape. You've been good to me.
After reading a self growth book called the Flip Side by a guy named Flip Flippen (I unsure if that's his birth name) it speaks about 8 things that hold people back, all of those I have and one that sticks out like a sore thumb: lack of drive. On top of that, Flip says that by the time a person turns thirty, it's downhill from there, that our patterns become ingrained, unlikely to change. That gives me approximately half a year. I better get going.
when I was 14 my dad made me shovel dirt for our family garden. Now, when you're 14, you don't like being told what to do, especially if it does not promise fun. It would be a week before I could dig all that needed to be dug. I was discouraged. Digging up dirt was not my idea of a good time. Interestingly, on the second day, I began to like it and even take pride in the work. I began to focus less on how hot and dirty the job was, and focus on the thought that my dad had asked me of all my siblings. I felt strong and proud. The next day, I could care less about pride and being strong. This sucks, I thought. Somehow I was able to complete the project and I sometimes look back on that experience fondly; a reference in what can be when we control what we focus on.
When I was itty bitty in Vietnam I would skip school and go to the pond by my house to catch frogs. One day I found my dad skipping work and going fishing himself, both not ready, i guess, to face up to the "real world". I prefer to see it as father and son both enjoying the jubilation of not doing what is expected of us. I don't remember if I was reprimanded nor do I remember if I understood the concept of blackmail or hypocrisy.
A barefoot man ran down a busy intersection of Lamar screaming "Holly! Holly!" My first guestimation of the situation was that his disgruntled lover had ran off from an argument. He had such a look of absolute devotion and desperation at the same time. It turns out Holly is his dog who took off after a bird or who knows what.
My life today is far from what I imagined it to be as a senior in high school; far from ideal but the process of living, learning, and growing (despite it's moments of discomfort and despair) is something that I am, if not happy with, at least open to.
Quotes I've enjoyed this week:
love, joy, happiness are often not found but created.
When I see an adult on a bicycle I do not despair for the the future of the human race - H.G. Wells
Random thoughts I've had:
* Caucasians have bread. Latinos, tortillas. Asians have rice paper. All edible. all delicious.
* When you come from poverty it is more of a challenge to learn to give.
* Here in Austin, the school for the deaf is a lot better kept than the school for the blind. I wonder if that is because of politics/funding or the fact that the blind students could care less what the grounds look like.
*There's a roll of scotch tape that i've been using sparingly for the last 2 years. It's almost out and I feel a pang of heartache. I'm gonna miss you, scotch tape. You've been good to me.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)