put your dreams on the shelf
don't compare with others, yo baby you got to know thyself
I only have today, it's where i'm starting from
yesterday is in the past gotta focus right now on building my momentum
and i try to dig for what's inside
gotta keep my eyes on the big picture, the prize
to build our reason tree
must show some consistency
in me i must trust
slow as i might be, to have faith in the tortoise
push through the pain, keep on believing, you'll transcend through the pain, you're conceivin'
hurts so bad, wish it'd go away
i'm not a fad, yo, i'm here to stay
Searching for my reason, my reason to be
if not, yo man, I cease to be
Gotta continue, continue getting stronger
Gotta endure, gotta last longer
These are my reasons to be,
If I want to change the world, I got to start with me.
My hands are small, i know, this much is true
But my hands are my own, yo, man they must do
can't rise above it??
it starts with self love
reasons everything is predicated on this
when i feel like caving in, yo I must resist
gotta believe reasons are my breakthrough
goddamn will i let this cycle continue
set the pace that you go
set the pace for yourslef, the self you know
don't feel like i'm making progress
the more i strive the more I feel movement is less
gotta hold on strong
hope is here, jesus has helped me all along
rise above, awake! sleeping giant
when you tear me down i will be defiant
i'm my worse enemy
this cannot be the end of me
gotta stay
eat, love, and pray
live laugh love, give your best everyday
let the cards fall where they may
i only see one set of footsteps, i ask jesus where have you been all my life
jesus says he's been carrying me all this time
jesus died for our sins this much is true
all i ask in return is the best in you
don't give up
keep your eyes on the prize, don't let up
my mind is tired, i need to rest
it's at these times that i can push, give my best
jesus died on the cross
for our gain, his life he loss
inspire stay strong
help each other along
need a day to rest and just relax
mind body and soul do not tax
gotta continue to believe
gotta add the reasons to my reasons tree
dig deep in my heart
dig deep underground for a new start
strain my ears for a sound
for my spirit digging underground
my siren song
other's people's pain, makes me strong
what are my reasons todain?
what are my pleasure and pains?
Lotta daily pains
gotta maintain
when my situation seems dire
dig underground a mole in a whole, i must inspire
idea,
sincere
everyday
before i turn gray
i got too much time
gotta use it to bust some rhymes
i don't want all the money
it's just not me
i'm like no other
asisn hippie from an asian mother
tooth hurts like a mother fucker
why must i continue to suffer?
gotta believe in my mind
keep hope alive, who knows what i may find?
what do i for my life have to show
when i die this i must know
Domestic Violence and other social issues
child was beatin'
this cycle keeps repeatin'
this is how life is, hard as a rock
no sir, not on my clock
break the silence
stop the violence
change me as a man
no need to use violence, no need to raise a hand
why did you have to raise a hand
did it make you feel more in command?
the newspapers keep him warm
the vultures about lurking, swarm
being able to connect to your own soul
that's the deepest connection you know
tags: music, reasons, rap
January 04, 2010
December 28, 2009
Favorite Quotes
My favorite quotes this week
“Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most.” ~ Buddha
“Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most.” ~ Buddha
December 08, 2009
Progress Log
| Place |
| What we want: * a beautiful living environment with nice and positive roommates that share our values decorated very nice and looking thrift store stylish * want to be mentally strong and skilled and always and constantly improving * to be confident in our ability to get things done. To have created a valid, consistently approach. What we Have: * We have a lot more repeat activities for our Google calendar and tons of invites on Facebook for activities > didn't know what to do on any given night * We have a very cute, centrally located apartment with electricity, water, wifi, and two roommates fronting the bill, it's decorated pretty cute and always improving and we're looking to move into an even nicer living situation! >living in a cold cold van |
| *We have a nice working steady approach with film and books and our wko program, slow but steady. Yes, we are making progress even on days when our feet is dragging. |
| *Our body feels moderately strong; playing ball like mad and running quite often. * We have yet to go into a deep deep depression recovery period is not that bad! > would get into funks for weeks at a time, we are slow as a motherfucker now but at least we are steadier. *We have gotten skilled at minigoaling and option/qualities * Learning better to not exert too much physically. Pace. * Have rap beats and U2 to help us push through the pain * We have nice stylish clothes that make us feel attractive, a cool hat, a nice jacket, and some cute shorts |
| Passion |
| What we want: * To spend as 3/4 of our time doing things that move us into an emotional state while staying productive toward the things that are important to us. What we Have: * I have that list of songs I can sing and play |
| I can make a list of film projects I'd like to do |
| I've watched and read and seen lots and lots of art |
| We are able to put music to video We are able to connect with others through writing * Continuing to create more and more video work * An abundant collection of books, audio, and film that will help us get through action. |
| People |
| Who we Want: Inner (6) Luong, Harold, Thay Pham, Anise Middle (18) Mother, Harold, Phillip, Tuan, Thuan, Cameron, Johanna, Ahmed, Anna Duyen, Bee, Shin, Katie J, Tommy, Anise, , Hailey, Kennedy, Wayne Wylie, Krzystof Outer (54) An Thu, Aubrey, Babe, Britney Who We Have: Inner (6) Shin, Scottie Middle (18) Chris, Harold, Scottie, Anise, Thay Pham, Hailey, Kennedy, Wayne Wylie, Krzystof Outer (54) An Thu, Aubrey, Babe, Britney we have many experiences with loving women we have our friendship with Scott We have beautiful memories made with so many people * Did good to make ammends with tommy and salvaged a friendship > would just avoid and let it drift away Father understands we do not trust him * We have more experiences of what we do not want in our relationships * We have the experience of taking time to talk to tommy dang * We have our sachse saigons facebook |
| Money |
| What we want: * What we Have: * We've cut our expenses down to 500/mnth * used to be $800/mnth * Got our massage responses back up again with daily advertisements I don't worry so much about spending money I can watch action films and listen to grooves music and dance, sway and work 2 days a week We have the potential to earn income with one of our many talents We have a natural ability to run our own business, comes naturally and we are very blessed |
| Progress Log |
December 06, 2009
Adventures in Public Transportation
When I'm longing for personal proximity, one thing I do is hop on the city bus around rush hour and it's nice just to have a bunch of warm bodies near. Here are some of my observations from the past week:
11/10 12:54 PM
A sweet immigrant family from Burma or perhaps Nepal with an adorable bay girl sits next to me in the back of the bus, the best set in the house, in my opinion, with ample leg room and easy to enter/exit seats. The parents were both wearing super stylish Ghetto Nike Air shoes, the kind you might find the hip hop high school crowd sporting. The baby girl and her father are making faces at each other and enjoying themselves. The men from this area of the world age particularly well and, although he is most probably in his thirties, he looks not even nineteen. Both the baby girl and her father smile at me.
I love the innocence of it. They are fashion oblivious. I find that charming and can relate. It's nice they don't know yet that public transportation is a mecca for misfits and madmen and continue to smile and communicate non-verbally to me
6:49 PM
A possibly homeless older gentleman gets on and sits next to me. He has a case of Red Bull energy drinks for sale. 2 for $1. Any normal person would hesitate to ask where he got this case from. After saying "no thank you" I change my mind and purchase two; one for me and one for a random guy who I've seen on the bus earlier in the week who happened to be traveling and, for some reason, came upon $100 worth of international notes that he needed to trade in.
There are some very interesting characters on this bus. Everyone has a back story. Everyone is trying to go somewhere. This bus is packed full like a can of sardines. Please, by the grace of God, no one cut a fart. Still, today, I prefer this and find it more enjoyable than riding alone.
6:53 PM
When you're wealthy and act abnormal, people compliment, "Ah, he's so eccentric." When you ride the city bus and talk to yourself, you're just plain crazy. The homeless have homeless lingo. No where else would you overhear a conversation along the lines of, "Where are you staying tonight?" "What did you score for dinner?" I find it endearing that the homeless form instant bonds through their common everyday struggles.
11/11 6:24 PM At McDonald's
So cute. A whole family of 6 immigrant girls with their aunt or possibly their mother. They range in age from 3 all the way to 10. The youngest braves a game of peek-a-boo with me. Cute little hands and adoring spanish eyes that remind me of the U2 song, "In a little while". My guess is that they're not used to seeing Asian people.They remind me of fond snowy days in Dallas when my parents would save up all month and take the whole family out to Mickey D's. My mother (bless her heart) made all of our meals at home, so it was a huge ordeal to go out for a Big Mac. We would get dressed in our Sunday best and were the image of success. Back in Viet Nam, a meal at McDonald's is indication that you have "made it" in America.
11/10 12:54 PM
A sweet immigrant family from Burma or perhaps Nepal with an adorable bay girl sits next to me in the back of the bus, the best set in the house, in my opinion, with ample leg room and easy to enter/exit seats. The parents were both wearing super stylish Ghetto Nike Air shoes, the kind you might find the hip hop high school crowd sporting. The baby girl and her father are making faces at each other and enjoying themselves. The men from this area of the world age particularly well and, although he is most probably in his thirties, he looks not even nineteen. Both the baby girl and her father smile at me.
I love the innocence of it. They are fashion oblivious. I find that charming and can relate. It's nice they don't know yet that public transportation is a mecca for misfits and madmen and continue to smile and communicate non-verbally to me
6:49 PM
A possibly homeless older gentleman gets on and sits next to me. He has a case of Red Bull energy drinks for sale. 2 for $1. Any normal person would hesitate to ask where he got this case from. After saying "no thank you" I change my mind and purchase two; one for me and one for a random guy who I've seen on the bus earlier in the week who happened to be traveling and, for some reason, came upon $100 worth of international notes that he needed to trade in.
There are some very interesting characters on this bus. Everyone has a back story. Everyone is trying to go somewhere. This bus is packed full like a can of sardines. Please, by the grace of God, no one cut a fart. Still, today, I prefer this and find it more enjoyable than riding alone.
6:53 PMWhen you're wealthy and act abnormal, people compliment, "Ah, he's so eccentric." When you ride the city bus and talk to yourself, you're just plain crazy. The homeless have homeless lingo. No where else would you overhear a conversation along the lines of, "Where are you staying tonight?" "What did you score for dinner?" I find it endearing that the homeless form instant bonds through their common everyday struggles.
11/11 6:24 PM At McDonald's
So cute. A whole family of 6 immigrant girls with their aunt or possibly their mother. They range in age from 3 all the way to 10. The youngest braves a game of peek-a-boo with me. Cute little hands and adoring spanish eyes that remind me of the U2 song, "In a little while". My guess is that they're not used to seeing Asian people.They remind me of fond snowy days in Dallas when my parents would save up all month and take the whole family out to Mickey D's. My mother (bless her heart) made all of our meals at home, so it was a huge ordeal to go out for a Big Mac. We would get dressed in our Sunday best and were the image of success. Back in Viet Nam, a meal at McDonald's is indication that you have "made it" in America.
November 03, 2009
weekly highlights
B. Highlights from My Week
* I sped through a red light even though I saw a patrol car perched on the other side of the road. I don't know what it is about skirting my life and the law that attracts me. Could I be a criminal in the making?
* I'm by myself and the band is playing and I really want to dance. "C'mon, Dao, just go. You can do it." "I don't know, it's kind of weird, a guy dancing by himself". "And I suppose it would be easier if you were a girl?" "okay, now." "okay, now." Go!
* I detest grocery shopping. Really, it's not one of my favorite activities. Shopping in general, I would say. That's why when I go to the store it's dim sum shopping for me. Like how at dim sum restaurants they cart out all these great looking goodies, I go around and peak at what other people are buying and go "hmm...na...hmm...that's looks interesting...oh! I've got to have that box of cheez-its"
* I was just thinking how much I love leftovers. You go through your fridge thinking, man, what is there to eat? Oh yea! that pizza from last week!
A. People I've met
* there's a tattooed hard-looking dude who organizes the basketball games where I play pick-up. His name is Julian and he looks like he's not unfamiliar with the texas penal system. I can't quite figure him out. He has a perpetual scowl like a lot of the guys that play pick up ball but he also always says hello when I come by. I think inside everyone is a softie.
* I've been hanging out with a friend named shin. He's a miniature japanese guy with a bruce lee cut who smokes cigars. I don't know what it is but I've always enjoyed spending time with people from different countries. It's kind of like traveling or hanging out at a youth hostel. There's a feeling of adventure about it all.
C. Lessons I've learned
* life is like bicycling a series of hills and valleys. You make the most of the momentum when it's easy riding/coasting and use that time to prepare for the inevitable climbs/hills. So, for example, if you're motivated to go on a diet, don't go gung-ho and run a marathon, use that motivation to set up an environment that is conducive to success. Go enlist in a gym membership, stack your fridge with healthy foods, call up a buddy and enlist him/her to go on the diet with you. You will find that time setting up the environment when you're motivated (coasting downhill) will create less work or reluctance when you're not (climbing uphill).
* patience cannot be an excuse for complacency
* it's not winning that matters but the motivation to continue improving
D. Random Thoughts
* I think half of the excitement in life is the build up, we should build up everything we do. Like how they hype boxing matches or football games. We can do that everynight before we go to bed, looking forward to our day tomorrow, really make a big deal of it and sure enough I think we wake up feeling more energized.
* I sped through a red light even though I saw a patrol car perched on the other side of the road. I don't know what it is about skirting my life and the law that attracts me. Could I be a criminal in the making?
* I'm by myself and the band is playing and I really want to dance. "C'mon, Dao, just go. You can do it." "I don't know, it's kind of weird, a guy dancing by himself". "And I suppose it would be easier if you were a girl?" "okay, now." "okay, now." Go!
* I detest grocery shopping. Really, it's not one of my favorite activities. Shopping in general, I would say. That's why when I go to the store it's dim sum shopping for me. Like how at dim sum restaurants they cart out all these great looking goodies, I go around and peak at what other people are buying and go "hmm...na...hmm...that's looks interesting...oh! I've got to have that box of cheez-its"
* I was just thinking how much I love leftovers. You go through your fridge thinking, man, what is there to eat? Oh yea! that pizza from last week!
A. People I've met
* there's a tattooed hard-looking dude who organizes the basketball games where I play pick-up. His name is Julian and he looks like he's not unfamiliar with the texas penal system. I can't quite figure him out. He has a perpetual scowl like a lot of the guys that play pick up ball but he also always says hello when I come by. I think inside everyone is a softie.
* I've been hanging out with a friend named shin. He's a miniature japanese guy with a bruce lee cut who smokes cigars. I don't know what it is but I've always enjoyed spending time with people from different countries. It's kind of like traveling or hanging out at a youth hostel. There's a feeling of adventure about it all.
C. Lessons I've learned
* life is like bicycling a series of hills and valleys. You make the most of the momentum when it's easy riding/coasting and use that time to prepare for the inevitable climbs/hills. So, for example, if you're motivated to go on a diet, don't go gung-ho and run a marathon, use that motivation to set up an environment that is conducive to success. Go enlist in a gym membership, stack your fridge with healthy foods, call up a buddy and enlist him/her to go on the diet with you. You will find that time setting up the environment when you're motivated (coasting downhill) will create less work or reluctance when you're not (climbing uphill).
* patience cannot be an excuse for complacency
* it's not winning that matters but the motivation to continue improving
D. Random Thoughts
* I think half of the excitement in life is the build up, we should build up everything we do. Like how they hype boxing matches or football games. We can do that everynight before we go to bed, looking forward to our day tomorrow, really make a big deal of it and sure enough I think we wake up feeling more energized.
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