We Will Be Provided ForI'm trying to make this a monthly entry. let's see. things that i have learned. first thing that comes to mind is the idea that often times we don't so much learn things as we do re-learn them. I find that mistakes made more than once really irritate me to make a change.
- The best way to learn is to teach
the idea that by listening and helping others we are actually in the process of hearing and helping ourselves out in the process. I have friends trying to figure out their lives and they remind me so much of myself and every time I take the time to be a friend and share with them what I've learned, I am only reiterating these lessons for myself
- the quality of our lives is in direct relation to the quality of our communication. the most important of which is what and how we communicate to ourselves, especially seeming negative events that happen to us. For example, I once owned a moped I bought to deliver pizzas for a local chain called Gumby's (the only place that would allow me to do so). After a week, it broke down in the middle of a run. I decided that that pizza still had to be delivered so I pushed-walked the moped the rest of the way, delivered the pizza and pushed-walked it all the way back to Gumby's.
I told the manager of my predicament and subsequently went into an emotional funk for a month or so. It would cost about the same to fix the scooter as it was to purchase a new one. It was the only idea I had at the time to provide for myself.
Looking back, I had communicated to myself that I was an idiot for buying that scooter and why try when Life only beats you down, along with "I'm no good" and that "Life is hard". In addition, I was couch-surfing a friend's place (actually, kitchen-surfing as there was no couch only 5x4 linoleum space in the kitchen to sleep) and knew that I had a limited amount of time before I overstayed my welcome. I felt so alone. I was devastated.
If this same scenario were to happen to me today I would first acknowledged that this was a definite possibility buying a used scooter. Secondly, i would go celebrate by buying myself a nice meal and getting a massage, anything to break me off from my depressing state. I would then lay down, close my eyes, and rest. After that I would muster the courage to face the day and go for a walk.
Then I would just try to do something I enjoyed just for pleasure's sake; play basketball, listen to music, read book (but stay away from the t.v. as that can be counterproductive). This, to remind myself that Life, in addition to being hard, can also be filled with simple pleasures, and that God will provide for me if I am willing to get back on my feet.
Once I got out of my mental bog (the idea that this too shall pass) then i believe that motivation starts with a thought. I think a lot that exists in the world once started from a single thought. I would have begun to think about what the breaking down of the scooter means. Perhaps it means that God wanted me to be safe and that the moped could have caused me an injury? Perhaps it meant that I was being tested. If anything it was a way for me to appreciate what i do have now At the time it totally sucked. Oh, it could be a lesson that I need to learn. That when it comes to providing for myself, it's dangerous to put all my eggs in one basket - or be weary of purchasing a used scooter if you don't know anything about fixing them. If I could, I would go back and whisper to myself, "I know if feels bleak at the moment, but I assure you, you will be provided for."