December 26, 2010

Holiday Spirit

I've spent several Christmases alone either by choice or by circumstance and it's not an ideal experience. This Christmas I got to witness people helping each other move out and move in, myself included. I felt much generosity and abundance of time and love to be shared between friends and complete strangers. It has been one of the best holidays yet. Perhaps I am doing something right as I am attracting a lot of good people in my life. 'Tis the season to give. May you notice the holiday spirit all around you.

December 18, 2010

Free Hug Day

I am human. I need affection. Touch me. Kiss me. Hug me. The homeless man asks for spare change. So sorry sir. No spange here. I can offer a hug.


October 20, 2010

Volunteer Experiences Had and To Have

Volunteer Experiences Had
Blackland Community: Johnson House
VSA Arts: Face Painting, Austin Assisted Living Center
Sunshine Garden: Clean Chicken Coop, Trim Hedges, Weeded
People's Community Clinic: Storytime
Volunteer Health Center: Registration assistance, Landscaping
DSACT: Goodie Bag Stuff, Lamination, Learning Program, Women's Race
Austin Involved: Keep Austin Kind, Dress For Success, Arts For Anthros, Abused Women's Apartment Prep
Single Volunteers of Austin: ARC Soup Kitchen
Sachse Saigons:
Walnut Creek: After School Reading, Camp Assistant
Master's Camp: Camp Counselor - Horseback, pool cleaning
Blue Dragon:
East Dallas Counseling: ESL Class, Office Help
Settlement Home
Volunteer Experiences to Have
People's Community Clinic: Film work, Massage Day
Trees For Pease:

October 18, 2010

Dad's Shop - Sachse, TX "Just a Carpenter's Son"

Most people understand the meaning received giving help but do not give meaning to receiving help. My current "power" struggle with my dad entails who is helping who. To experience meaning in my workings with pops, I tell myself that I am helping him out, helping with "the load of family responsibility" as he so often whines about.

On the other hand, my father experiences meaning in his efforts with me by telling himself that he is helping me establish a career (in carpentry) so that I will have a future. We both have the idea that we are each sacrificing our own freedoms for the benefit of the other. Pops says he can find anyone to replace me, essentially. I don't believe that. I dunno, I guess he could, actually. I love him and have a healthy dosage of family obligation, that's why I am still here.

His favorite saying is, "If you don't follow my way, you will not amount to anything." Not those exact words, but it's basically what I hear. What he actually says is that he does not believe that I have the capabilities to compete in the marketplace. This statement used to hurt me. It still hurts, but moreso gives me fire to disprove him, now that I know more about what I want and what means anything to me. Sometimes, on lonely nights, I wonder if he's right, but not for long.

My dad is so insecure about O.P.P "other people's opinions", especially when it comes to inferiority of knowledge. Quote, "I'm 50 years "experienced". You think I don't know anything?" What is the hidden meaning behind this, pops?

When you work with family, naturally, personal business always mixes in with business business. For example, when we are on the road, traveling to worksites or making equipment purchases or for whatever reason, we always end up talking about family matters or pops is being didactic, teaching me about life and social awareness. His conspiracy is that people are out there to get us. Spend one day with my dad and you'll learn to either love him or hate him. He's an intense personality.

I find that people find meaning in their work by doing the best they can at whatever it is that they do. Charles Barkly, the ex-basketball pro used to say that. And so there is meaning today for me. Back to Wally the Welder(See Nov '04 entries), hey, if he finds meaning being an expert in welding, then that is terrific. Perhaps I can be in expert in meaning one day.

Funny how "let's give them something to talk about" plays on the radio for a father and son pair struggling to bridge the generational gap.

If you're a fan of CBS's "The Amazing Race", my dad makes Ron look like a boy scout.

August 16, 2010

been blogging on facebook. please follow me there at

June 29, 2010

When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.
Helen Keller

May 10, 2010

made some cereal

then was worried i wouldn't have a clean spoon. it's that time of the week where the dish washer is getting loaded and i may very well be out of clean silverware. But lo and behold! there is a clean spoon! It's cereal time! This will be the highlight of my day.

February 19, 2010

8 things about me

I am being offered $600 to have my wisdom teeth removed. I asked them which one was my sweet tooth, the one I get from my mom.

You know how Gorbachev the former Russian leader has that huge birthmark on his forehead? Well, in addition to the teardrop mole on my brow I have an equally impressive gorbachev on my left thigh.

I am the hairiest among the five men in my family. My darling sisters, bless their hearts, are pretty darn close.

My biggest fear is dying and believing that my life had not mattered.

I've always wanted to be adopted by different families. First it was a Black family because I wanted to see what it would be like to be so open and frank with one another. Then it was a Hispanic family to see what it would be like to have huge parties all the time. A different culture for every week of the month.

People tend to believe more in me than i sometimes do myself. And sometimes vice versa. And then, when the cosmos align, the image others have of me and that which I hold for myself match up. That about covers this particular thought.

I have extremely long toes on an averaged sized foot. Am not sure if that accounts for anything other than "springy" hops and the ability to use chopsticks if I were so inclined to develop that talent.

I'd love to be in a boy band, perhaps an all-asian 80's tribute band. I believe that would be a first. A wikipedia search confirms my intuition. The closest thing is an rock band called "Asia" formed in 1981 by four white dudes. Interesting. Gonna check out their tunes.

February 01, 2010

January Review


* went on a heavy metal fitness bicycle ride. i could not keep up, they were so so fast! but decided to continue at my own pace anyways. good for you, Dao! (pat on the back).

* figured out how to download and convert youtube videos! wow! i didn't know if i could do it!

* attended Thuan's Summit Elementary Teachers Talent show. The kids were so cute.

* putting our model plane together and succeeding that was really cool, very proud of you dao you found a way to do it, take your time you don't have to do it all at once, when the momentum is there then focus and go, take a break. flew plane for first time and almost hit a family walking their dog, be mindful of others, dao. it was really exciting getting our plane put together.

* got a job as a black jack dealer at the austin convention center.

Lessons Learned
> recall the lesson that it's not about winning but about constant and never-ending improvement (CAN-I)
> we all progress at different rates and at different ares in our lives and focus on the task at hand and what we can control.

January 04, 2010

our reasons rap

put your dreams on the shelf
don't compare with others, yo baby you got to know thyself
I only have today, it's where i'm starting from
yesterday is in the past gotta focus right now on building my momentum
and i try to dig for what's inside
gotta keep my eyes on the big picture, the prize
to build our reason tree
must show some consistency
in me i must trust
slow as i might be, to have faith in the tortoise
push through the pain, keep on believing, you'll transcend through the pain, you're conceivin'
hurts so bad, wish it'd go away
i'm not a fad, yo, i'm here to stay
Searching for my reason, my reason to be
if not, yo man, I cease to be
Gotta continue, continue getting stronger
Gotta endure, gotta last longer
These are my reasons to be,
If I want to change the world, I got to start with me.
My hands are small, i know, this much is true
But my hands are my own, yo, man they must do
can't rise above it??
it starts with self love
reasons everything is predicated on this
when i feel like caving in, yo I must resist
gotta believe reasons are my breakthrough
goddamn will i let this cycle continue
set the pace that you go
set the pace for yourslef, the self you know
don't feel like i'm making progress
the more i strive the more I feel movement is less
gotta hold on strong
hope is here, jesus has helped me all along
rise above, awake! sleeping giant
when you tear me down i will be defiant
i'm my worse enemy
this cannot be the end of me
gotta stay
eat, love, and pray
live laugh love, give your best everyday
let the cards fall where they may
i only see one set of footsteps, i ask jesus where have you been all my life
jesus says he's been carrying me all this time
jesus died for our sins this much is true
all i ask in return is the best in you
don't give up
keep your eyes on the prize, don't let up
my mind is tired, i need to rest
it's at these times that i can push, give my best
jesus died on the cross
for our gain, his life he loss
inspire stay strong
help each other along
need a day to rest and just relax
mind body and soul do not tax
gotta continue to believe
gotta add the reasons to my reasons tree
dig deep in my heart
dig deep underground for a new start
strain my ears for a sound
for my spirit digging underground
my siren song
other's people's pain, makes me strong
what are my reasons todain?
what are my pleasure and pains?
Lotta daily pains
gotta maintain
when my situation seems dire
dig underground a mole in a whole, i must inspire
before i turn gray
i got too much time
gotta use it to bust some rhymes
i don't want all the money
it's just not me
i'm like no other
asisn hippie from an asian mother
tooth hurts like a mother fucker
why must i continue to suffer?
gotta believe in my mind
keep hope alive, who knows what i may find?
what do i for my life have to show
when i die this i must know

Domestic Violence and other social issues
child was beatin'
this cycle keeps repeatin'
this is how life is, hard as a rock
no sir, not on my clock
break the silence
stop the violence
change me as a man
no need to use violence, no need to raise a hand
why did you have to raise a hand
did it make you feel more in command?

the newspapers keep him warm
the vultures about lurking, swarm
being able to connect to your own soul
that's the deepest connection you know

tags: music, reasons, rap