Most people understand the meaning received giving help but do not give meaning to receiving help. My current "power" struggle with my dad entails who is helping who. To experience meaning in my workings with pops, I tell myself that I am helping him out, helping with "the load of family responsibility" as he so often whines about.
On the other hand, my father experiences meaning in his efforts with me by telling himself that he is helping me establish a career (in carpentry) so that I will have a future. We both have the idea that we are each sacrificing our own freedoms for the benefit of the other. Pops says he can find anyone to replace me, essentially. I don't believe that. I dunno, I guess he could, actually. I love him and have a healthy dosage of family obligation, that's why I am still here.
His favorite saying is, "If you don't follow my way, you will not amount to anything." Not those exact words, but it's basically what I hear. What he actually says is that he does not believe that I have the capabilities to compete in the marketplace. This statement used to hurt me. It still hurts, but moreso gives me fire to disprove him, now that I know more about what I want and what means anything to me. Sometimes, on lonely nights, I wonder if he's right, but not for long.
My dad is so insecure about O.P.P "other people's opinions", especially when it comes to inferiority of knowledge. Quote, "I'm 50 years "experienced". You think I don't know anything?" What is the hidden meaning behind this, pops?
When you work with family, naturally, personal business always mixes in with business business. For example, when we are on the road, traveling to worksites or making equipment purchases or for whatever reason, we always end up talking about family matters or pops is being didactic, teaching me about life and social awareness. His conspiracy is that people are out there to get us. Spend one day with my dad and you'll learn to either love him or hate him. He's an intense personality.
I find that people find meaning in their work by doing the best they can at whatever it is that they do. Charles Barkly, the ex-basketball pro used to say that. And so there is meaning today for me. Back to Wally the Welder(See Nov '04 entries), hey, if he finds meaning being an expert in welding, then that is terrific. Perhaps I can be in expert in meaning one day.
Funny how "let's give them something to talk about" plays on the radio for a father and son pair struggling to bridge the generational gap.
If you're a fan of CBS's "The Amazing Race", my dad makes Ron look like a boy scout.
3/18/05
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
October 18, 2010
December 06, 2009
Adventures in Public Transportation
When I'm longing for personal proximity, one thing I do is hop on the city bus around rush hour and it's nice just to have a bunch of warm bodies near. Here are some of my observations from the past week:
11/10 12:54 PM
A sweet immigrant family from Burma or perhaps Nepal with an adorable bay girl sits next to me in the back of the bus, the best set in the house, in my opinion, with ample leg room and easy to enter/exit seats. The parents were both wearing super stylish Ghetto Nike Air shoes, the kind you might find the hip hop high school crowd sporting. The baby girl and her father are making faces at each other and enjoying themselves. The men from this area of the world age particularly well and, although he is most probably in his thirties, he looks not even nineteen. Both the baby girl and her father smile at me.
I love the innocence of it. They are fashion oblivious. I find that charming and can relate. It's nice they don't know yet that public transportation is a mecca for misfits and madmen and continue to smile and communicate non-verbally to me
6:49 PM
A possibly homeless older gentleman gets on and sits next to me. He has a case of Red Bull energy drinks for sale. 2 for $1. Any normal person would hesitate to ask where he got this case from. After saying "no thank you" I change my mind and purchase two; one for me and one for a random guy who I've seen on the bus earlier in the week who happened to be traveling and, for some reason, came upon $100 worth of international notes that he needed to trade in.
There are some very interesting characters on this bus. Everyone has a back story. Everyone is trying to go somewhere. This bus is packed full like a can of sardines. Please, by the grace of God, no one cut a fart. Still, today, I prefer this and find it more enjoyable than riding alone.
6:53 PM
When you're wealthy and act abnormal, people compliment, "Ah, he's so eccentric." When you ride the city bus and talk to yourself, you're just plain crazy. The homeless have homeless lingo. No where else would you overhear a conversation along the lines of, "Where are you staying tonight?" "What did you score for dinner?" I find it endearing that the homeless form instant bonds through their common everyday struggles.
11/11 6:24 PM At McDonald's
So cute. A whole family of 6 immigrant girls with their aunt or possibly their mother. They range in age from 3 all the way to 10. The youngest braves a game of peek-a-boo with me. Cute little hands and adoring spanish eyes that remind me of the U2 song, "In a little while". My guess is that they're not used to seeing Asian people.They remind me of fond snowy days in Dallas when my parents would save up all month and take the whole family out to Mickey D's. My mother (bless her heart) made all of our meals at home, so it was a huge ordeal to go out for a Big Mac. We would get dressed in our Sunday best and were the image of success. Back in Viet Nam, a meal at McDonald's is indication that you have "made it" in America.
11/10 12:54 PM
A sweet immigrant family from Burma or perhaps Nepal with an adorable bay girl sits next to me in the back of the bus, the best set in the house, in my opinion, with ample leg room and easy to enter/exit seats. The parents were both wearing super stylish Ghetto Nike Air shoes, the kind you might find the hip hop high school crowd sporting. The baby girl and her father are making faces at each other and enjoying themselves. The men from this area of the world age particularly well and, although he is most probably in his thirties, he looks not even nineteen. Both the baby girl and her father smile at me.
I love the innocence of it. They are fashion oblivious. I find that charming and can relate. It's nice they don't know yet that public transportation is a mecca for misfits and madmen and continue to smile and communicate non-verbally to me
6:49 PM
A possibly homeless older gentleman gets on and sits next to me. He has a case of Red Bull energy drinks for sale. 2 for $1. Any normal person would hesitate to ask where he got this case from. After saying "no thank you" I change my mind and purchase two; one for me and one for a random guy who I've seen on the bus earlier in the week who happened to be traveling and, for some reason, came upon $100 worth of international notes that he needed to trade in.
There are some very interesting characters on this bus. Everyone has a back story. Everyone is trying to go somewhere. This bus is packed full like a can of sardines. Please, by the grace of God, no one cut a fart. Still, today, I prefer this and find it more enjoyable than riding alone.
6:53 PMWhen you're wealthy and act abnormal, people compliment, "Ah, he's so eccentric." When you ride the city bus and talk to yourself, you're just plain crazy. The homeless have homeless lingo. No where else would you overhear a conversation along the lines of, "Where are you staying tonight?" "What did you score for dinner?" I find it endearing that the homeless form instant bonds through their common everyday struggles.
11/11 6:24 PM At McDonald's
So cute. A whole family of 6 immigrant girls with their aunt or possibly their mother. They range in age from 3 all the way to 10. The youngest braves a game of peek-a-boo with me. Cute little hands and adoring spanish eyes that remind me of the U2 song, "In a little while". My guess is that they're not used to seeing Asian people.They remind me of fond snowy days in Dallas when my parents would save up all month and take the whole family out to Mickey D's. My mother (bless her heart) made all of our meals at home, so it was a huge ordeal to go out for a Big Mac. We would get dressed in our Sunday best and were the image of success. Back in Viet Nam, a meal at McDonald's is indication that you have "made it" in America.
September 03, 2009
What We Have in Common
I will attempt a new 21 day challenge. my room mate is trying to quit smoking and I'm going to try and quit lazy (being, that is). So much like a working out, I will try to sit down and do some things that I generally do not care for (cooking, cleaning, etc) first thing when I wake (okay, after my morning coffee which is usually a book and/or something yummy to eat, b/c getting up in the morning is hard as it is)
After reading a self growth book called the Flip Side by a guy named Flip Flippen (I unsure if that's his birth name) it speaks about 8 things that hold people back, all of those I have and one that sticks out like a sore thumb: lack of drive. On top of that, Flip says that by the time a person turns thirty, it's downhill from there, that our patterns become ingrained, unlikely to change. That gives me approximately half a year. I better get going.
when I was 14 my dad made me shovel dirt for our family garden. Now, when you're 14, you don't like being told what to do, especially if it does not promise fun. It would be a week before I could dig all that needed to be dug. I was discouraged. Digging up dirt was not my idea of a good time. Interestingly, on the second day, I began to like it and even take pride in the work. I began to focus less on how hot and dirty the job was, and focus on the thought that my dad had asked me of all my siblings. I felt strong and proud. The next day, I could care less about pride and being strong. This sucks, I thought. Somehow I was able to complete the project and I sometimes look back on that experience fondly; a reference in what can be when we control what we focus on.
When I was itty bitty in Vietnam I would skip school and go to the pond by my house to catch frogs. One day I found my dad skipping work and going fishing himself, both not ready, i guess, to face up to the "real world". I prefer to see it as father and son both enjoying the jubilation of not doing what is expected of us. I don't remember if I was reprimanded nor do I remember if I understood the concept of blackmail or hypocrisy.
A barefoot man ran down a busy intersection of Lamar screaming "Holly! Holly!" My first guestimation of the situation was that his disgruntled lover had ran off from an argument. He had such a look of absolute devotion and desperation at the same time. It turns out Holly is his dog who took off after a bird or who knows what.
My life today is far from what I imagined it to be as a senior in high school; far from ideal but the process of living, learning, and growing (despite it's moments of discomfort and despair) is something that I am, if not happy with, at least open to.
Quotes I've enjoyed this week:
love, joy, happiness are often not found but created.
When I see an adult on a bicycle I do not despair for the the future of the human race - H.G. Wells
Random thoughts I've had:
* Caucasians have bread. Latinos, tortillas. Asians have rice paper. All edible. all delicious.
* When you come from poverty it is more of a challenge to learn to give.
* Here in Austin, the school for the deaf is a lot better kept than the school for the blind. I wonder if that is because of politics/funding or the fact that the blind students could care less what the grounds look like.
*There's a roll of scotch tape that i've been using sparingly for the last 2 years. It's almost out and I feel a pang of heartache. I'm gonna miss you, scotch tape. You've been good to me.
After reading a self growth book called the Flip Side by a guy named Flip Flippen (I unsure if that's his birth name) it speaks about 8 things that hold people back, all of those I have and one that sticks out like a sore thumb: lack of drive. On top of that, Flip says that by the time a person turns thirty, it's downhill from there, that our patterns become ingrained, unlikely to change. That gives me approximately half a year. I better get going.
when I was 14 my dad made me shovel dirt for our family garden. Now, when you're 14, you don't like being told what to do, especially if it does not promise fun. It would be a week before I could dig all that needed to be dug. I was discouraged. Digging up dirt was not my idea of a good time. Interestingly, on the second day, I began to like it and even take pride in the work. I began to focus less on how hot and dirty the job was, and focus on the thought that my dad had asked me of all my siblings. I felt strong and proud. The next day, I could care less about pride and being strong. This sucks, I thought. Somehow I was able to complete the project and I sometimes look back on that experience fondly; a reference in what can be when we control what we focus on.
When I was itty bitty in Vietnam I would skip school and go to the pond by my house to catch frogs. One day I found my dad skipping work and going fishing himself, both not ready, i guess, to face up to the "real world". I prefer to see it as father and son both enjoying the jubilation of not doing what is expected of us. I don't remember if I was reprimanded nor do I remember if I understood the concept of blackmail or hypocrisy.
A barefoot man ran down a busy intersection of Lamar screaming "Holly! Holly!" My first guestimation of the situation was that his disgruntled lover had ran off from an argument. He had such a look of absolute devotion and desperation at the same time. It turns out Holly is his dog who took off after a bird or who knows what.
My life today is far from what I imagined it to be as a senior in high school; far from ideal but the process of living, learning, and growing (despite it's moments of discomfort and despair) is something that I am, if not happy with, at least open to.
Quotes I've enjoyed this week:
love, joy, happiness are often not found but created.
When I see an adult on a bicycle I do not despair for the the future of the human race - H.G. Wells
Random thoughts I've had:
* Caucasians have bread. Latinos, tortillas. Asians have rice paper. All edible. all delicious.
* When you come from poverty it is more of a challenge to learn to give.
* Here in Austin, the school for the deaf is a lot better kept than the school for the blind. I wonder if that is because of politics/funding or the fact that the blind students could care less what the grounds look like.
*There's a roll of scotch tape that i've been using sparingly for the last 2 years. It's almost out and I feel a pang of heartache. I'm gonna miss you, scotch tape. You've been good to me.
December 14, 2008
One Step At a Time
My brother and I wanted to do the unthinkable today. Hey Dao! let's go run a half marathon! I'd never before and actually felt a bit reluctant, I had a small blister on my left foot from trying out a new running shoe. My trusty gray pumas still work better. Two hours, battery acid legs, and chest palpitations later we arrived back where we started and I leapt to high-five the stop sign. We had covered 14 miles and I was giddy with disbelief. It's nice when you can still surprise yourself.
Even though I was so sore, I ecstatically pulled a "brandi chastain" - tore off my jacket, shirt, shoes, socks, sunglasses and celebrated by screaming unintelligible sounds at no one in particular. My brother laughed.
Ken says everyone he loves is leaving him. His kids and former spouse are possibly going back to Mexico. I'm headed up to Dallas to share some precious moments with them. My baby sister moved up to New Jersey for a new life. I wish her health, happiness, and know she will learn a lot from the experience. And I am slowly transitioning to Austin to "see about a girl".
The run taught me some things. Expect challenges. the road is not always easy and smooth. However, if you press on, there is something special waiting for you on the other side. On this run, a magical creek bed that I had not known existed. My brother and I lost each other somewhere along mile 3 and found each other again around mile 9. I was so happy to see him and he gave me a much needed physical and emotional boost. It's true, there is strength to be found with the right people. I had promised myself not to give up and the promise propelled me through, that and gummy bears (much cheaper and tastier than those goo gel packs).
There are certain portions of the run where you get a second wind. Life has a way of changing one's perspective, one's experience of it. For me, when I get close to the end of anything there is definitely a second boost. "Almost there!" we say to ourselves. One foot in front of the other. One step at a time.
Even though I was so sore, I ecstatically pulled a "brandi chastain" - tore off my jacket, shirt, shoes, socks, sunglasses and celebrated by screaming unintelligible sounds at no one in particular. My brother laughed.
Ken says everyone he loves is leaving him. His kids and former spouse are possibly going back to Mexico. I'm headed up to Dallas to share some precious moments with them. My baby sister moved up to New Jersey for a new life. I wish her health, happiness, and know she will learn a lot from the experience. And I am slowly transitioning to Austin to "see about a girl".
The run taught me some things. Expect challenges. the road is not always easy and smooth. However, if you press on, there is something special waiting for you on the other side. On this run, a magical creek bed that I had not known existed. My brother and I lost each other somewhere along mile 3 and found each other again around mile 9. I was so happy to see him and he gave me a much needed physical and emotional boost. It's true, there is strength to be found with the right people. I had promised myself not to give up and the promise propelled me through, that and gummy bears (much cheaper and tastier than those goo gel packs).
There are certain portions of the run where you get a second wind. Life has a way of changing one's perspective, one's experience of it. For me, when I get close to the end of anything there is definitely a second boost. "Almost there!" we say to ourselves. One foot in front of the other. One step at a time.
November 04, 2008
Where Are The Keys?
In Transit from Dallas To Houston
I spent the weekend at my parents. It's always a mixed feeling experience; one part joy of seeing my other siblings/nephews and one part pain because my dad can make critical comments about the slightest things. The worst this visit being an outburst about my brother having shaved off his hair. Later the same day I lost the car keys. To make things more complicated, my mother's shop keys were attached and I ran over a nail and got a flat tire.
I've had many challenging circumstances in my solo travels. What make this particular test more daunting than others however is that I feel I have my dad breathing down my neck the whole time. To top it off, I misplaced both of my mp3 players.
In times of stress s like this I try my best to pull from it something positive, perhaps a lesson. I ask myself "what can I use from this or learn from this"- a reminder that it's all relative; some guy is starving in Somalia. This is nothing, yet it's my nothing.
While searching for my missing things I was searching for a common theme. All of this had to mean something. I feel experiences are wasted otherwise. One of the reasons I keep this blog is to remind myself of the lessons I've learned in life. I'm a college drop-out so it's even more important to prove to myself that I can do well in life despite having made that decision. Losing my keys doesn't help with that campaign.
My sister in law offered to take me back to my mom's deli, the last place I remember seeing the keys and a miracle happened. Evidently, I had dropped them along with my card keys right in front of the deli door. I was ecstatic and thanked my lucky stars. Later that evening my nephew found my music players and I felt like the luckiest guy. Having retrieved these missing items I thought to myself, what else have I misplaced in my life and is there still hope of retrieving this things also? I thought of my relationships with certain friends and family members. I've been gone for so long. Can I pick up where I left off? Are some things lost forever? beyond replacement and repair? I'd love to hear what you think.
"Maybe redemption has stories to tell,
Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell"
- "Dare You To Move" by Switchfoot
I spent the weekend at my parents. It's always a mixed feeling experience; one part joy of seeing my other siblings/nephews and one part pain because my dad can make critical comments about the slightest things. The worst this visit being an outburst about my brother having shaved off his hair. Later the same day I lost the car keys. To make things more complicated, my mother's shop keys were attached and I ran over a nail and got a flat tire.
I've had many challenging circumstances in my solo travels. What make this particular test more daunting than others however is that I feel I have my dad breathing down my neck the whole time. To top it off, I misplaced both of my mp3 players.
In times of stress s like this I try my best to pull from it something positive, perhaps a lesson. I ask myself "what can I use from this or learn from this"- a reminder that it's all relative; some guy is starving in Somalia. This is nothing, yet it's my nothing.
While searching for my missing things I was searching for a common theme. All of this had to mean something. I feel experiences are wasted otherwise. One of the reasons I keep this blog is to remind myself of the lessons I've learned in life. I'm a college drop-out so it's even more important to prove to myself that I can do well in life despite having made that decision. Losing my keys doesn't help with that campaign.
My sister in law offered to take me back to my mom's deli, the last place I remember seeing the keys and a miracle happened. Evidently, I had dropped them along with my card keys right in front of the deli door. I was ecstatic and thanked my lucky stars. Later that evening my nephew found my music players and I felt like the luckiest guy. Having retrieved these missing items I thought to myself, what else have I misplaced in my life and is there still hope of retrieving this things also? I thought of my relationships with certain friends and family members. I've been gone for so long. Can I pick up where I left off? Are some things lost forever? beyond replacement and repair? I'd love to hear what you think.
"Maybe redemption has stories to tell,
Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell"
- "Dare You To Move" by Switchfoot
November 01, 2008
September 21, 2008
September 12, 2008
It's Has To Be the Hair
September 08, 2008
Third Times the Charm
I've moved back to Texas and am living with my big brother in an apartment near the Galleria mall. It's not my ideal environment. Too much concrete and cars. Although we share a car, we try to get around as much as possible by bike. We have lot's of fun here and I am blessed to have such a wonderful sibling in my life. Portland was great but I longed for the familiarity of family too much while I was there so I didn't make the most of it. Well, we live and we learn :) Don't you agree? This is my third time living in Houston and I think it will fair much better than the first two.
June 01, 2008
What We're Looking For May Be Closer To Home
I want write story about all my searching and looking for something through my solo travels when my dad's acceptance was what I really longed for the whole time.
March 02, 2008
Sibling Reunion
We haven't been together even once in the past three years so it was a much needed get together for the Nguyen Siblings in Sachse, TX.
May 20, 2007
Berkeley > Garland
Been back here in Garland helping mom at Deli. Today is two weeks. Came with intention of helping her until help arrives. Doing well to that intention. Figured if i'm reading books and watching movies might as well do it in Dallas helping mother. Spent some nice time at alamo park near ma's deli under a grove of trees on a park bench. Checking shitload of great films from the library!
Been helping ma open early by making soi, two greens and one purple, with mung and coco and salt/sugar mix. Doing well to get things done by escaping thru music, audiobooks, and film. Almost got involved in an live-in pet sitter situation. Sold one gun for Lu! felt amazing, like I was closer to my dream of being a traveling salesman!
Looking at my options of returning to Berkeley and when or other options for the summer, Flagstaff? Stay in Garland? Went out with siblings back to Mesquite and saw growth, change, sameness. Had wingstop and shared intimacies with Aunt Van from Viet Nam over the shoulder conversation.
Been helping ma open early by making soi, two greens and one purple, with mung and coco and salt/sugar mix. Doing well to get things done by escaping thru music, audiobooks, and film. Almost got involved in an live-in pet sitter situation. Sold one gun for Lu! felt amazing, like I was closer to my dream of being a traveling salesman!
Looking at my options of returning to Berkeley and when or other options for the summer, Flagstaff? Stay in Garland? Went out with siblings back to Mesquite and saw growth, change, sameness. Had wingstop and shared intimacies with Aunt Van from Viet Nam over the shoulder conversation.
January 06, 2007
Had a bad day/week
“Sometimes you put walls up not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down.”
My sister, Jessica has been a great friend in my life. I am grateful for the one time she saved me from a deep depression when I was in San Francisco 1/06/07 Journal entry:
weird fucking day. very emotional sad. depressed not keen to future then talk with jessica, a travel companion yeah! So important in life to have a good companion. needed to breathe went to walk Presidio park. nice. very tall trees. realized i need to travel again. why travel. done the loneliness thing. done the boredom thing now i know what i don't want from experience of pain. i want partnership a sharing of hugs. Got out of the depression by talking to Jessica.
My sister, Jessica has been a great friend in my life. I am grateful for the one time she saved me from a deep depression when I was in San Francisco 1/06/07 Journal entry:
weird fucking day. very emotional sad. depressed not keen to future then talk with jessica, a travel companion yeah! So important in life to have a good companion. needed to breathe went to walk Presidio park. nice. very tall trees. realized i need to travel again. why travel. done the loneliness thing. done the boredom thing now i know what i don't want from experience of pain. i want partnership a sharing of hugs. Got out of the depression by talking to Jessica.
December 31, 2004
Parent's House - Sachse, TX "Last Minute Minutes"
Yea, so, it's new year's eve, cool beans. A day to prepare to make resolutions. I am writing this very hastily,. I rediscovered today that if you do things hastily, it can be quite invigorating. I enjoy doing things fast. You can make seemingly mundane events passionate. Hoo. Hmm. I don't know about that, Dao. Well, anyhow, I might spend New Year's Eve at home with my little brother and sister.
A quick synopsis of what went on the month of December. I decided to head back to Texas from Nevada. Got lonely to say the least. I miss the familiarities of home, food, and friends. Thought I might make a life in Austin, but it seems my parents, particularly my dad need my assistance in Dallas, so I think I will make a life here in Sachse, cow town, USA. I do think that this time around things will both be different and the same with my dad. I think that I might actually make bundles of money in my dad's established business. There's definitely potential, so I will tell you if I get rich. Then I'll have all the friends in the world, which, at the present moment, I think that I could use more of. Well, I'm thinking of signing off. Take care all, and happy new years 2005.
A quick synopsis of what went on the month of December. I decided to head back to Texas from Nevada. Got lonely to say the least. I miss the familiarities of home, food, and friends. Thought I might make a life in Austin, but it seems my parents, particularly my dad need my assistance in Dallas, so I think I will make a life here in Sachse, cow town, USA. I do think that this time around things will both be different and the same with my dad. I think that I might actually make bundles of money in my dad's established business. There's definitely potential, so I will tell you if I get rich. Then I'll have all the friends in the world, which, at the present moment, I think that I could use more of. Well, I'm thinking of signing off. Take care all, and happy new years 2005.
Parent's House - Sachse, TX "Hustling"
Well, I went with my little brother over to my older brother's house to help him break in his new house up in Denton, TX. On the way there, we had to take the tollway. In the name of Jefferson Thomas of Nantucket, it costs 75 cents at each toll collector and then there are four toll booths along the way to Denton. So brother and I scheme to play along with the system. We take mother's van, and mother, too, and pulled off the Great American Tollway Robbery.
This is how it works if you are interested in making easy cash. What you do is one of you plays the driver while the other plays the "hustler". The hustler stays in the back with next to the sliding van door and readies himself to hustle. As the driver pulls up and approaches to pay the 75 cent toll, the hustler slides the van door, preparing to pull of the "great heist". As the van makes a near-complete stop at the toll-collection unit, the "hustler" pulls the van door open and, at that time, makes a visial inspection of all the loose change that rookie coin tossers mis-manage to make it in the toll basket. You'd be surprised! It's like a goldmine! There's so much loose change, you can swim in it. Watered in emotion, I brought in 15 cents at our first stop. I could have gotten more, but was inhibited by my embarrassment, there was a car behind us.
All in all, I made almost 55 cents. Dude! Imagine the possibilities if one were to apply oneself. Now this is between you and me. If the authorities catch on to this scheme, we could be in big trouble.
This is how it works if you are interested in making easy cash. What you do is one of you plays the driver while the other plays the "hustler". The hustler stays in the back with next to the sliding van door and readies himself to hustle. As the driver pulls up and approaches to pay the 75 cent toll, the hustler slides the van door, preparing to pull of the "great heist". As the van makes a near-complete stop at the toll-collection unit, the "hustler" pulls the van door open and, at that time, makes a visial inspection of all the loose change that rookie coin tossers mis-manage to make it in the toll basket. You'd be surprised! It's like a goldmine! There's so much loose change, you can swim in it. Watered in emotion, I brought in 15 cents at our first stop. I could have gotten more, but was inhibited by my embarrassment, there was a car behind us.
All in all, I made almost 55 cents. Dude! Imagine the possibilities if one were to apply oneself. Now this is between you and me. If the authorities catch on to this scheme, we could be in big trouble.
December 26, 2004
Prodigal Son Returns
Parent's House - Sachse, TX "Prodigal Son Returns"
Bo: "So, Dao, have you decided if you will stay and help me with my business?"
Dao: "Bo, of course I want to help you any way that I can. And that is what I am uncertain about my abilities. I know that I am capable of being a good salesperson for you, to get you work, I believe that there is always a demand for woodwork, you have a very good industry. One, it is, compared to other industry, very rare, Secondly, your skill is exceptional, no argument.
I have two things to consider in order to succeed with working with you. Number one, I know there will be days where you are not feeling good, maybe mom is causing your stress or one of the family, or your feeling the pressure, I understand, maybe not exactly because Ihave never had the responsibility of raising 6 kids but what I am saying is that you need to learn how to release your stress in better methods than become negative and critical at work. Nobody will want to stay, you have experienced that with many of your workers.
Number two, is for me. You are right about my lack of motivation. Through my experience working Ilearn that I have motivation to continue as long as the process is fun. My mind does not work with the far vision. You are right. That is one of my faults. Of course work cannot always be fun, I accept that but I have found methods to make working enjoyable for me. One is variety of work. Money does not work. Escape works most days. Taking lots of breaks/naps. Competition works. Specific time goals works. Some days, NOTHING works, and I just need to relax and sleep for a few hours, take a complete break for a couple of days, then I am good and ready again. THAT IS MY EXPERIENCE. Do not ask me to change overnight, it will not happen i guarantee you it. So here is what Iam asking as a work agreement, if you can work with it then we are in business. Sign here. :)
Bo: "So, Dao, have you decided if you will stay and help me with my business?"
Dao: "Bo, of course I want to help you any way that I can. And that is what I am uncertain about my abilities. I know that I am capable of being a good salesperson for you, to get you work, I believe that there is always a demand for woodwork, you have a very good industry. One, it is, compared to other industry, very rare, Secondly, your skill is exceptional, no argument.
I have two things to consider in order to succeed with working with you. Number one, I know there will be days where you are not feeling good, maybe mom is causing your stress or one of the family, or your feeling the pressure, I understand, maybe not exactly because Ihave never had the responsibility of raising 6 kids but what I am saying is that you need to learn how to release your stress in better methods than become negative and critical at work. Nobody will want to stay, you have experienced that with many of your workers.
Number two, is for me. You are right about my lack of motivation. Through my experience working Ilearn that I have motivation to continue as long as the process is fun. My mind does not work with the far vision. You are right. That is one of my faults. Of course work cannot always be fun, I accept that but I have found methods to make working enjoyable for me. One is variety of work. Money does not work. Escape works most days. Taking lots of breaks/naps. Competition works. Specific time goals works. Some days, NOTHING works, and I just need to relax and sleep for a few hours, take a complete break for a couple of days, then I am good and ready again. THAT IS MY EXPERIENCE. Do not ask me to change overnight, it will not happen i guarantee you it. So here is what Iam asking as a work agreement, if you can work with it then we are in business. Sign here. :)
January 05, 2004
All That You Can't Leave Behind
Monday Jan. 05-'04! 6:45A.M. Miami Beach, FL
The air is so nice here, fresh, naturally, a hint of salt from the sea, calm and steady. I come here today for hope and what better a symbol for it than morning sunrise. Last night I had a vivid dream. It involved two people who really affect me, one I hat to love and the other I hate to hate. My once girlfriend turned "dissacciate" is the one I hate to love. Naturally we still have feelings for one another but she'll deny it and has moved on to new relationships. So I love her, but I hate that I do.
The dream last night starts with me chasing after her down a huigh school hallway, longing for affection to be returned. Her body language communicates that she would rather let time erase what was between us. I think to myself, "women. so typical" After relentless pursit, she finally agrees to talk to me. I have a seductive affect on her and she me, so we kiss passionately and all things are back to good. [Interruption of thought: the sun just rose over the water's horizon. It is beautiful, awe-full, and so, so transient; if you blink you just might miss it.] So we find ourselves happy and embraced in each others arms in my mothers sewing room watching television. Things are so perfect, too perfect, I feel something bothersome coming, and sure enough, it is my father, who scorns and yells at me to be more productive.
Always intimidated by him, I don't bother verbalizing what utters in my head, "Look around pops, there's really nothing left to be done." But in my dream, my father can read my mind and he says, angrily, "Oh, yea? Well I got something for you to do. You can put finish on the wooden drawers in your room." I want to think, "Oh brother, how necessary" but I don't b/c I know he can read my mind. I wake up to the repetitive back and forth motion of my paintbrush on wood. Interpretations, anybody?
Dancin' Dao (dancin' thru life)
July 01, 2003
"Piecing the Puzzle"
Jester Dorm -- Austin, TX
We were frustrated, figity, and flatulous (well Jessica mostly), I called for a group break to analyze and reorganize our approach. Our second try proved slow, at first, then all of a sudden Luong called out, "Got one!" quickly followed by a "got one!" from Jessica. Shortly thereafter, I, myself, was piecing things together. We worked at this incredible rate for another 30 minutes; pieces seemingly connecting themselves and without difficulty.
I was feeling lonely just yesterday, as you read in the previous entry, so I decided to make it a point to contact my peeps. I called mother at work, and although rattling me out for having left Dallas, I felt a peculiar warmth of intimacy...the kind that annoys you but you appreciate nevertheless. Then I called and met up with an 'ol friend, John Tran.
We talk for a little bit and head out to a tea shop and there I run into another friend, Bee, who is getting married in two weeks. Then, as I am talking to Bee, another friend named Jeanie, who happens to work there, approached me and we did the whole "hi! wow haven't seen you...da da...the whole nine yards. She told me that in the shop were other people that I knew...I was just socially overwhelmed and didn't even bother to come over to say hello.
Point in case...sometimes you complain to yourself how lonely you feel, only to complain another day how you don't have any control when you're being bombarded with friends. This is Dao, signing out. Oh, again, if you know any musicians or any related contacts for musicians email me at dal_nguyen@yahoo.com
May 02, 2003
Break The Cycle
Dallas, TX
I recently spoke to a friend online and she was counseling me on my non-existent relationship with my dad. You know, the ever-familiar problems we have with our stoic-every-so-ready-to-force-feed-you-his-opinion-when-he-wants-to-asian father. Yes. It frustrates me.
So I run into a complete stranger on at the rail station on my way to meet up with a friend. The stranger is a white man in his forties. He seems a nice man so I approach him with, "Pardon me, sir, may I ask you a question? Perhaps you could help answer a question I've been puzzling over today." I share with him the above and he first replies, "Well, first, I am sorry to hear that. It's quite a shame." And proceeds to dissect the way the last generation of fathers was raised.
It's quite possible that one of us will pass before we make the effort to know and forgive each other. Needless to say, it would be a shame. Despite the discord, we're both fundamentally good people. I can't imagine what that would be like, I have experienced missing somebody;but not like that. Not a permanent longing.
"Father. Hello. Who are you?" We don't talk. We don't call one another. There's so much to talk about, but it seems almost impossible to start that conversation. You celebrated your 47th Birthday last week. How do I wish someone a happy birthday I don't talk to. I have learned to shut you out; to make your words... your opinion of me... not matter. I am safe behind these walls. Or am I? Explain to me why we always cry when we talk? Can't it get better? When tears come for apparently no reason, I know the reason. It is that I wish things were different. That things did not play out as they did between us. Many of us long for things from our parents that they, frankly, don't know how to give.
There was a boy. There was his Father. The two did not speak to one another and did their best to avoid one another. What foolish games. One of the hardest things to do is to meet up with the source of our pain. Life seems easier when we can fill things up to act as a bandaid. I know because that's what I do.
I feel no shame here. There's no need to hide this. Sure, it has somewhat stained me. I hurt and still do. Not so much from the physical violence of my childhood experiences but moreso from the emotional instability that affects a person long after the quarrels, broken dishes, and sleepless school nights have passed.
I'm grown now and live apart from my folks. It is difficult each time I visit them. It becomes a revisitation of emotional places that both anger and sadden me. I think that domestic violence is a terrible, terrible thing. It stays with a person long after. You sometimes feel "weird". I wish I had some good advice I could share about all this. Here's a photo of my mom and dad in happier times.
September 23, 1983
Saigon Oi
There's a song my father played sometimes called "Oh, Saigon" (or "Saigon Oi" in our language). It's a ode to Ho Chi Minh City, formerly known and continually referred to as Saigon. These cherished photos are from the Motherland.
Alot of these photos are of my older brother Rocky (Formerly known as Sage...and before that by his (however unfortunate) birth name, Dung. Here's Rocky at what appears to be an amusement park, historical center, or petting zoo.
Here Rocky has arm shouldering a cousin. He insists having not picked out his wardrobe for the photo.
Here Rocky poses in his overalls with my mother.
Brothers in Arms, Survivors of the Vietnam War.
Standing left to right: unknown, my dad, Uncle Dat, unknown, unknown, unknown, Uncle "The" (far right)
Squatting left to right are three unknown family friends with Rocky looking happy in his extended fraternity.
Alot of these photos are of my older brother Rocky (Formerly known as Sage...and before that by his (however unfortunate) birth name, Dung. Here's Rocky at what appears to be an amusement park, historical center, or petting zoo.Here Rocky has arm shouldering a cousin. He insists having not picked out his wardrobe for the photo.
Here Rocky poses in his overalls with my mother.
Brothers in Arms, Survivors of the Vietnam War.
Standing left to right: unknown, my dad, Uncle Dat, unknown, unknown, unknown, Uncle "The" (far right)
Squatting left to right are three unknown family friends with Rocky looking happy in his extended fraternity.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)